Sober January is a disaster.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
