you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
