he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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