WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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