She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
