Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
