Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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