erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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