end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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