are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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