I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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