no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
