Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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