we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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