i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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