She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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