So drunk its hurt
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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