dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
