Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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