It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
