When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Randomize
