Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she was so not down for the gang bang
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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