everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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