Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Duck Duck Cougar?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
