Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think I sprained my soul last night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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