I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
