Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
