I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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