Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
