If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
