I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the raccoons are back...
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