there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
