I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
