all she had left on were here heels. phone five
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Congratulations! We have a period
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