Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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