toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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