So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
last night I used snow as a chaser
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
