I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory