In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone