last night I used snow as a chaser
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My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.