My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...