One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together