My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my shit smells like andre
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.