My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She bit a glass in half.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
