New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She's like a pop up book from hell.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.