Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building