you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Send us your Text From Last Night!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada