I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.