I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me