i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Send us your Text From Last Night!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.