I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.