i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole