i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
mondays should just be called national damage control day