you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.