Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now