LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.