He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.