Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
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you will always have a special place in my vag
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.