walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Send us your Text From Last Night!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.