I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.