i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.