Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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