Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.