never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
