Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
God I need to hump something, right now.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?