Texts From Last Night

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(301): View more from Maryland

people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

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(301): people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture. http://tfl.nu/g8h6

Replies (30) Good night (5548) Bad night (1576)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

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(860): As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. http://tfl.nu/lted

Replies (104) Good night (8735) Bad night (1362)
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(858): View more from California

she takes plan B like it's going out of style

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(858): she takes plan B like it's going out of style http://tfl.nu/mrnj

Replies (27) Good night (1004) Bad night (3602)
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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(718): Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen. http://tfl.nu/l1y2

Replies (34) Good night (4701) Bad night (718)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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(913): Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it. http://tfl.nu/o6yg

Replies (16) Good night (3508) Bad night (1106)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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(704): I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/q6uf

Replies (44) Good night (6515) Bad night (835)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.

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(804): I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore. http://tfl.nu/hody

Replies (16) Good night (4069) Bad night (754)
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(845): View more from New York

I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.

(845): View more from New York

Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.

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(845): I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell. (845): Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts. http://tfl.nu/04jv

Replies (18) Good night (7467) Bad night (1086)
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(705): View more from Ontario

How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?

(1-705): View more from Ontario

I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.

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(705): How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk? (1-705): I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month. http://tfl.nu/0dv4

Replies (14) Good night (3870) Bad night (923)
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(951): View more from California

Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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(951): Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list. http://tfl.nu/idtu

Replies (24) Good night (4311) Bad night (756)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

This girl wants me to lick her pits

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

pits??

(402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though

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(402): This girl wants me to lick her pits (1-402): pits?? (402): Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though http://tfl.nu/86dv

Replies (33) Good night (900) Bad night (4320)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

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(414): honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing http://tfl.nu/5ke6

Replies (17) Good night (4132) Bad night (787)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.

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(405): If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over. http://tfl.nu/i8gt

Replies (10) Good night (785) Bad night (3758)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it

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(978): Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it http://tfl.nu/eab6

Replies (37) Good night (791) Bad night (3968)
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(512): View more from Texas

we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text

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(512): we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text http://tfl.nu/5zju

Replies (7) Good night (3574) Bad night (711)

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