we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.