He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.