Texts From Last Night

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

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(262): Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat? http://tfl.nu/beg4

Replies (65) Good night (11272) Bad night (2066)
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(713): View more from Texas

S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?

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(713): S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B? http://tfl.nu/ysr8

Replies (131) Good night (866) Bad night (8320)
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(509): View more from Washington

so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week

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(509): so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week http://tfl.nu/b2p9

Replies (25) Good night (5166) Bad night (784)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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(616): Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted. http://tfl.nu/14wd

Replies (17) Good night (785) Bad night (4008)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.

(402): View more from Nebraska

but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.

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(515): Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs. (402): but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs. http://tfl.nu/7170

Replies (9) Good night (3864) Bad night (820)
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(330): View more from Ohio

oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle

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(330): oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle http://tfl.nu/fluw

Replies (27) Good night (4444) Bad night (864)
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(219): View more from Indiana

so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.

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(219): so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night. http://tfl.nu/edgl

Replies (15) Good night (4385) Bad night (965)
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(718): View more from New York

he told me my vagina needed a tic tac

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(718): he told me my vagina needed a tic tac http://tfl.nu/0ll3

Replies (34) Good night (938) Bad night (9134)
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(303): View more from Colorado

So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.

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(303): So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper. http://tfl.nu/p0yj

Replies (34) Good night (995) Bad night (5854)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

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(920): I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too. http://tfl.nu/1n8l

Replies (13) Good night (1073) Bad night (3643)
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(214): View more from Texas

He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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(214): He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome. http://tfl.nu/msec

Replies (10) Good night (4605) Bad night (842)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

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(978): is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl? http://tfl.nu/dwko

Replies (47) Good night (5659) Bad night (931)
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(303): View more from Colorado

So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?

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(303): So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!? http://tfl.nu/9p3z

Replies (17) Good night (865) Bad night (2572)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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(617): Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start http://tfl.nu/p90c

Replies (7) Good night (805) Bad night (3455)
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(716): View more from New York

i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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(716): i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts http://tfl.nu/g5xn

Replies (44) Good night (5241) Bad night (1155)

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