Texts From Last Night

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(217): View more from Illinois

i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.

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(217): i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet. http://tfl.nu/nuvu

Replies (55) Good night (1106) Bad night (3798)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

tie

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(401): just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant? (1-401): tie http://tfl.nu/oumz

Replies (30) Good night (705) Bad night (2459)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.

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(504): I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car. http://tfl.nu/on2m

Replies (10) Good night (2193) Bad night (704)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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(404): Mmmm, vodka for breakfast http://tfl.nu/n4af

Replies (16) Good night (3080) Bad night (771)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

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(913): Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor. http://tfl.nu/qg7g

Replies (35) Good night (5251) Bad night (781)
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(443): View more from Maryland

That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.

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(443): That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face. http://tfl.nu/yqg0

Replies (11) Good night (732) Bad night (2507)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle

(859): View more from Kentucky

Guys should not giggle. Ever.

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(859): Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean? (1-859): im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle (859): Guys should not giggle. Ever. http://tfl.nu/p9xa

Replies (22) Good night (3096) Bad night (721)
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(305): View more from Florida

If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?

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(305): If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me? http://tfl.nu/0xff

Replies (13) Good night (640) Bad night (2160)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed

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(503): I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed http://tfl.nu/wtld

Replies (55) Good night (1142) Bad night (6437)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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(604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh

Replies (73) Good night (1342) Bad night (17685)
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(916): View more from California

It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.

(1-916): View more from California

That's why you should quit smoking.

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(916): It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here. (1-916): That's why you should quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/xt8p

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (2097)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf

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(540): I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf http://tfl.nu/8zma

Replies (31) Good night (2719) Bad night (558)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

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(802): I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel. http://tfl.nu/5pvk

Replies (25) Good night (666) Bad night (3275)
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(713): View more from Texas

my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.

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(713): my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute. http://tfl.nu/ldey

Replies (12) Good night (2693) Bad night (717)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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(843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp

Replies (20) Good night (608) Bad night (6844)

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