Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.