Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?