You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.