we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers