Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.