I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.